Armageddon On Ice is a unique show experience, built on the tradition of classic ice shows, while celebrating the timeless story of the zombie apocalypse. Set in a winter sports dystopia, AOI follows recently awaken coma patient, Zack Glynn as he navigates the new mutant world order. From human ice curling to the rise of the Mutant Hockey League (MHL), to zombie ice dancing, Glynn is forced to try and survive each sport, while finding his own path in this new, horrific reality. Coupled with rock music from our own live band, originally scored music and exciting original video, the spectacle of Armageddon On Ice has something for everyone in the family to talk about with their therapist!
The show opens with a single, dim spotlight on a hospital stretcher. A few light flashes and rumbling in the distance. A heart monitor starts to beep – weak and slow at first and then gaining strength and rhythm. The light gets brighter revealing a man on the stretcher who begins to stir. This is Zack. He wakes, disoriented and a bit frightened. As Zack calls for a nurse, the background explosions intensify and a ghostly music track begins to fade in and out. Something skates by behind him at the spotlight’s edge. He stumbles to his feet and skates around the stretcher, continuing to call out for anyone who will listen. More beings skate thru from the shadows, causing our hero to spin and stumble. Then a flash of color as the sharp rip of a guitar echoes thru the auditorium. The explosions and flashes intensify as the dark skaters start to surround Zack. It becomes clear that the beings are zombies – and they want flesh. The zombies push the stretcher out of the light and begin to pursue Zack. He screams and skates off in horror. They over-power him and he is finally brought down and they pull Zack in, mouths agape, ready to eat. Just as the end seems eminent, a man in a football helmet and coveralls enters wielding a blowtorch, pushing the zombies away. Our hero is saved… For the moment.
The savior removes his football helmet and coveralls to reveal a slicked-back frock of jet-black hair, white dress shirt and bow tie. This is THE ANNOUNCER. After a brief explanation that, yes, Zack woke up in the Apocalypse, The Announcer turns his attention to the Jumbotron, where the “So, You’re Awake and it’s The Apocalypse” orientation video has started to play.
At the conclusion of the video, The Announcer explains to Zack that the post-apocalyptic world he finds himself in was chosen during his coma, and that Zack can now attain his never-realized dream of being a winter sports hero, with a few wrinkles. The Announcer tells Zack to get ready, just as a roaring loud bass rumble starts, and the lights flicker, the bass flanges, it gets dark, and then BOOM! ARMAGEDDON ON ICE! Pyrotechnics, flash and strobe lights, and the band kicks in for its first number.
BAND PERFORMANCE (WITH VIDEO ON JUMBOTRON)
ZOMBIE ADAGIO PAIRS COMPETITION
After the band concludes, a single spot is on Zack, now dressed in a pairs skating outfit, alone at center ice. The announcer’s voice comes over the sound system, welcoming everyone to the Adagio Pairs competition, as another spot shines on a female skater at the boards. This is Irina Snapnova. She is chained to the boards because… She is a zombie. She locks eyes Zack and chokes her chains taught, leaping her arms in his direction.
Just as Zack is about to run away, The Announcer grabs him and explains the modified rules for the competition. A short video plays about Zack’s partner in the style of those Olympic vignettes, except she’s a zombie.
Music begins to play and the zombie skater immediately calms down and begins to wave her arms in a dancing motion. She is released from her shackles and begins to dance a routine towards Zack. He immediately recoils, but she grabs his arms and pulls him in. They begin to dance and the music kicks into full steam. After about a two-minute routine, the couple takes a gracious bow as dead flowers are thrown onto the ice, and little zombie flower girls skate on the ice to pick them up and bring them to Irina, plus any body parts she lost.
The pair skate by the zombie judges and on to the “Kiss and Cry” area to join the coach, and watch The Announcer and his color man review their routine on the Jumbotron.
A pre-recorded video of the skating routine plays on the screen. We a split screen of the pair skating close-up and personal and the couple watching the review live. There are moments of Zack pulling off the his partner’s arm by mistake, the zombie skater spewing blood and body parts as she spins and jumps, etc. As the video plays, the zombie skater starts to act more aggressively towards our hero – trying to eat his arm, etc. She eventually has to be shackled, but still within inches of Zack.
The video ends, and our couple eagerly awaits their scores from the judges, four zombies from different countries, each one groaning and lunging at The Announcer as he asks for each individual score. One by one, the zombie judges hold up a card containing anything but a number – a blood spatter, a hand drawn into a chicken, the word “Brains”, etc.
The announcer and color man quickly dismiss the gibberish and claim an impressive score. The pair is quickly pulled into the middle of the ice where the zombie skater makes one final lunge for Zack’s neck just as the arena goes dark, and the band kicks in.
BAND PERFORMANCE (WITH VIDEO ON JUMBOTRON)
After the band concludes, Zack is once again in spotlight at center ice, this time dressed in a curling uniform. The announcer’s voice signals the beginning of the competition, and as the lights come up Zack finds himself as a sweeper in seemingly normal and civil curling competition. After two passes with Zack sweeping, and just as he is starting to finally relax and have some fun, the Announcer skates onto the ice and stops the competition.
Declaring the proceedings boring, the Announcer brings in Frank, the Wee Viking, who is then used as curling stone (Frank will be introduced earlier in the show), with Zack sweeping ahead of him.
The Announcer declares that this is still boring, and proposes the “Rumaki Method,” which hasn’t been attempted since the Oslo Olympics in 1952. This consists of wrapping Frank in bacon (brought out on a giant frying pan), covering him with a light teriyaki glaze, and propelling him down the ice with a giant rubber slingshot. All with Zack helplessly sweeping in front of him.
Now the thing is spiraling out of control. Gradually, some of the other curlers have turned mutant, and they are now zeroing in on Zack. The announcer stops the action, and says that he is ashamed of himself for starting this; that Frank is an old friend, and a person with rights who should be treated with respect. “Let’s use a child instead!” the Announcer declares, and a little girl is plucked from the audience and shot down the ice.
Now the band kicks in as Frank is hurled down the ice with the slingshot, still wrapped in bacon, as Zack runs from the mutant curlers. The mutants catch Zack, and hurl him down the ice with the slingshot, the Announcer laughing maniacally as Zack disappears into the darkness screaming.
BAND PERFORMANCE (WITH VIDEO ON JUMBOTRON)
METAL MADNESS ICE CIRCUS
We will hire an existing acrobat troop, and/or winter sports performers (ice parkour, snowboarding, ski jump, etc.) - Mutant-themed to tie in with the show. - Guest winter sports celebrity appearance
BAND PERFORMANCE (WITH VIDEO ON JUMBOTRON) - Featuring special guest artist - Ends with recorded version of old Hartford Whalers theme
MUTANT HOCKEY LEAGUE ALL-STARS VS THE SHEBOYGAN COOTERS
Our hero is suddenly in goalie pads and the uniform of the Cooters. The Announcer comes over the sound system over hockey themed music. A pre-recorded video tells the story of how the MHL All-Stars became zombies, and that this game with the Cooters is a brave social experiment designed to integrate them back into society. This is followed by MHL intros, with player pictures and bios on the Jumbotron, and a shorter intro of the home team Cooters. The Announcer explains that the MHL All-stars won a coin toss, and that the Mutant National Anthem will be played. The Announcer asks everyone to stand, and the MHL players and planted zombies in the crowd groan and scream unintelligible sounds to a traditional anthem-like score.
The puck drops to actual hockey for five minutes. This should be lit to look like a video game, with the band performing some charging rock and roll. The game then shifts to a choreographed performance with live music of gradual zombie attacks. One – by – one, the Cooters players are bitten by zombie players, sent to the penalty box and return as zombies themselves. The last to be turned is the ref, and then… A stoppage of play, as the mutant league, recently turned Cooters, and ref line up at opposite end of the ice – facing a terrified Zack in goal. The band plays just a moment of “Thriller” and the line of zombies do just a few moves from the famous dance. The zombies then go after Zack, who flees in desperation. And just as the show seems to be spiraling completely off the rails, with Zack squarely in the zombie’s grasp, The Announcer enters. He begins to sing the show’s theme “Wonderful World of Ice,” a cheesy 1940’s-like show number, causing the zombies to stop in their tracks.
The Announcer circles the dead as Zack stands to the side in awe and confusion. As the band joins them on the ice, The Announcer signals for the dead to join him in singing, and they do. One-by-one the show’s main cast joins the singing on the ice. Zack slowly begins to join in the refrain - He realizes he can’t beat them, might as well join them. The lyrics also play on the Jumbotron with a bouncing ball so the audience can sing along.
As Zack tries to fall in to the group and join in song, he is overcome by a swarm and taken down. There’s a pause in the music, as Zack resurfaces as a zombie. A final refrain is belted by the band and singers, as The Announcer yanks off the now zombie-Zack’s arm, using it to lead the group in a goodbye wave.
FADE TO BLACK